you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
