Buhtt sex?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
