I wish I only lived at night.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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