New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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