I CAN MOONWALK!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
