Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
