i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
