its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
