remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
