Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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