idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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