Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
