Do you still have your period?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
