would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
