literally had 100 drinks last night.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
