shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
