I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
