rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
