how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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