Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
