Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
This house was built for laser tag.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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