you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize