Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
