This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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