Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
