U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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