bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
