Dual....:-)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
