Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
