Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
