Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize