dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
There r osticjed everywhere
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Terrible idea I love it
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
