i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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