Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
