Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
