He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
