sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
