glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize