I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
