Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
