So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
