Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
