Say something about gay babies.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
