2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
