hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize