He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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