It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize