new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
