I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
