Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
