is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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