I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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