covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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