We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
