Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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