I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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