i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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