I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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