i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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