I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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