Nicole vs. Life
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
