I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
two words: eviction party
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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