Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
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