And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize