I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
