so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
