I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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