I think I died a long time ago.
It's Friday. Sex?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
