Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
