Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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