oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize