two words: eviction party
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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