windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
