careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
